Reeses Pieces

at 1:10pm today we said goodbye to our sweet Reeses Pieces.  We made the decision after she started to cough last night, and this morning.  Something she hadn’t done but once in a while.  We ensured that she saw our neighbor who always took care of her while we were away.  We drove her to a park to let her sniff around, fed her an entire pack of hotdogs – no pills.

We walked her into the Vets office.  I think that made it even worse.  She doesnt know.  But we know that we were never to see her again.  Almost feel horrible …she trusted us and we walked her into a place for her to never see us again.

We sat on the floor with her head in our hands, scratching her head and back.  She layed on the tumor.  Something she always found very painful especially these last few weeks.  She did it without hesitation, almost as if to say – i want you to remember the good side of me as i go.

I know we are going to go back and forth with if we did the right thing. I think we know in our hearts we did.  She was coughing…which means its made it to her lungs.  She had a massive size tumor where her leg once was, with another on her back.  Over the last 3 days she didn’t want to go on her walks, but only stay in our yard – of which she was very happy doing still.

We spent the morning doing the things she loves….spending time with her people.   For the first time in 10 years (for my husband, even longer since he had his dog we layed to rest last year before he met me) we sit in a dogless house.

The tears continue to flow as i type this.  I was hoping for a sense of relieve, but that has yet to come.  I know she’s no longer in pain, she’s not coughing, she’s not panting daily (though she did this anyway even when well)  She’s not needing to take a walk break 200 feet into it.  She isn’t wincing when she rolls onto the wrong side, pacing in our bedroom because she can’t get comfortable.  She’s free.  Visiting the other dog and cat she once knew, running around, laying where she wants to…and able to sleep comfortabally.   It doens’t make it any easier for those of us still here 🙁

Thank you for this site.  We unfortunately were only here a few too short months once we had Reeses become a Tripawd, but it has beena wonderful resourse to us.  3 legged dogs will have a special place in our hearts.  Reeses taught us no matter what, you can do it.  Being different was just fine by her, and she was happy as a tripawd member.

I realized i hadn’t posted  more recent picture of her.  I posted it in the forum as well, but, here’s one of about 4 weeks ago or so.  This certainly isn’t how she’s acting today unfortunately – but was yesterday.

She LOVES the rug we got with the new livingroom, even laying on the tumor side on it.  Licks away at the rug till she’s satisfied its wet enough 🙂

We just passed our 3 month ampuversary a couple days ago.  We hoped that the amputation and chemo would have helped to keep her with us at least another year, however, as in the last blog her cancer in the amputation area grew back.  It looks like 2 softballs next to each other for the most part, and has now also developed a lump on her back.

She’s on Tylenol with codeine, however, is starting to wince now and then.  This took an emotional toll on us this morning and we sat crying.  She has a follow up on Monday either way, so we will ask if there is anything else to consider first.  We called this afternoon, and the vet basically stated what we’re doing is pretty much it at this point, and if the pain can no longer be controlled, its time.

The times she gets excited to go for the ever so short walks she can handle, and the excitement she just had on her face when our neighbor came over makes this even harder.  When IS the right time?  She’s laying around more, eating less today anyway (today’s the first day for not gobbling up her entire bowl in record time), and her walks are no longer around the block, but to the end of the road 4 houses away, and back again.

and again, her tail (or we say nub…she is a rottie after all!) wiggles away when she sees and hears us, and comes over to say hello.

Its these things that make me not want to throw in the towel so to speak, and have her here just a little longer.  I just don’t know.  The day has been full of this conversation between my husband and I.  Even thinking tomorrow is her last day, so make it special hoping she comes back with us on Monday, but then for how many more days.

We’ve had to make this type of decision 2 other times… one with my cat who had liver failure, and another with our dog last mothers day that had a degenerative disease of his spine who crashed one afternoon outside and ended up rushing him to the vet before the closed to put him to sleep so he wouldn’t suffer.

This isn’t easy. i know it isn’t for anybody.  I just wish i knew “when” the “right” time was.

Well, Reeses is still up and at em. The tumor has grown back pretty large. Vet suggested a ct scan, however brought no guarantees about anything. We had to make the not so easy decision to just stick with the chemotherapy and not move forward with anything else. Financially it would mean 5000.00 or more, and would it be for us or to help her. Her first surgery had several complications and we don’t want her to go through that especially if there are no guarantees.

So for now we take it day by day. She still likes her walks, and her food. Loves her pats and rubbins. We find her on our couch and bed, and she’s jumping around impatiently waiting for her walk as I type.

We have her on pain meds to keep her comfortable..and she LOVES getting her 5 pills 2x per day which are delivered VIA hot dogs (mmmmm!) Nothing else worked, but this sure did!

We noticed where her leg was has suddenly become a bulge. We fear the tumor has grown back. She’s been pretty lethargic the past few days not really caring to do much of anything. She did go for her short walk this morning, but has been laying down ever since.

Her next treatment is Monday, so we will be asking about the bulge and if we should even consider a 2nd surgery while on Chemo. We are fearing the worst at this point unfortunately 🙁 Hopefully we get better news then what we expect.

Today we got the last of her stitches out!  Now we can let her run around, give her a much needed bath, and even got a flea pill to start killing fleas in about 2 hours – which she DEFINATELY needs!  Poor thing is full of them – which of course helped our indoor kitty also become friends with the flea population.  Needless to say, horse pills do not go well even with peanut butter.

She’s been doing really well.  Today marks 5 days post chemo session 1.  No side effects so far *fingers crossed*.  She’s been tired, which we expected.   She saw the vet that did her surgery today and everybody gave her some lovin’s.   Reeses even got to visit a kitty that lives at the vet office.  Good story to share with the folks asking about the missing leg, and were all smiles seeing how well she is doing hearing she had it removed almost 4 weeks ago.

We’re proud of our little trooper, and hope she kicks this thing!  cautious optimism as always, but, we hope she enjoys the rest of her time with us.

Next week may be a trip to the beach for the first time in years!  We’ll see if she can handle the walk.  Something we started doing with her last week for the first time with 3 legs.  Gets tired and has to sit often, but, she is very excited to be out and about.

Yesterday was our first round of chemo, and we got most of the stitches out.   The “problem” area still is stitched to make sure it is completely healed before the stitches come out.

We finally were able to take the cone off!  Granted, she got to a point that she was pretty much done with the kennel and cone…forced her way out of the kennel, which now has a pretty broken METAL door!  Cone was broken in the meantime, which means for her – mission accomplished!

Today she’s laying in her kennel, door wide open.  She’s pretty lathargic, and doesn’t seemto care much about anything.  Of course, its most likely the chemo – at least we hope thats all it is.  The cost was less than quoted, which is good.  We asked they do not give the pain medicine unless she was actually in pain.  One tech told my husband that the pain med will help the tumor shrink if she has any (huh?  really?  hmmm doubt that!).  So that was a cost savings.  They said she did well and really didn’t need it.  Next treatment is in 3 weeks, and will be alternating a different drug back and forth.

She went on her first “hop” (walk) yesterday post amp since she can be more out and about.  She was pretty pooped taking it, and they had to make several stops, so made the walk shorter than usual and came home.  My husband said she was a trooper because she loves her walks and really did want to keep going, but the panting told him ok dad, i’m tuckered out!

Fur is starting to come back in ever so slowly!   When she goes potty, we need to stay away from where she goes, and if we clean up after her at all for anything, we need to wear gloves as to not touch anything because of the chemo meds.

We hope the lethargy doesn’t last too long, no fun seeing our doggie do so out of it.

OK shes in her kennel, however, slight heart attack walking in the door after work today!

Typically come home, go to her kennel to say hello and get her outside to do her “duty”.   But today…. no dog.    OK.. maybe she got out.  I check under the table …. no dog.  I check in the spare room where she likes to hide now, no dog.  I look outside.  no dog.

So … I call hubby, he panics.

I open the closed office door.  THere she is.  sitting in front of the fan that was on.   How did she get there you ask?  We haven’t quite figured that one out!    We think when he fed her this morning, the door was just closed but not locked.  I see evidence of our masked crusaider being in several rooms today, however how she managed to shut the door is beyond us!

So…outside she went, and back in her “house”.  A few treats to get her there since she reaaaallllyyy didn’t want to be.

Hopefully her movement today didn’t mess things up with the new stitching.

In terms of her future….xrays came back clear again for her lungs so thats a good sign.  Operating Dr doesn’t know if they got all the tumor out, because of the extent they said they had to stop at a certain point.  CT scan recommended, but its so so so expensive.  They said that the cancer treatment isn’t good on tumors, and thats what radiation is for – however with out a CT, they aren’t sure what they are dealing with.   This may be a point that we will have to forego and see how she does with the other treatment.   The tumor also came back with osteosarcoma, which made them wonder how much of the chest bone may have been affected.

We’ll, as always, keep everyone posted!

Reeses is at the specialist for a follow up. She isn’t healing.

They restitched her incision to see if they can get a better grasp and lesson the chance of it opening again. We wait again a week or so before treatment can start.

They also want a ct scan. It’s very costly. The operating vet stated they took out what he could, so specialist wants to see what she is dealing with. This might be where we pass, we just can’t afford a 1,500.00 scan with all the treatment costs.

We’ll have to mull this over. We want her to be happy, and do everything to have her well so it weighs heavy on us.

More kennel time, less movement and different pain meds incase she is in pain but not showing it. We will follow up with anything additional when she gets picked up.

Reeses did go to the emergancy vet last night around 11:30pm.  They took a look over her leg, and did confirm pitted edima.  He said its pretty common in amputees, but still should be checked by her specalist.  They stitched up the growing hole, and stated there is a lot of tension in that area so wouldn’t be surprised if it happens again.  Asked again to see her vet to check everything out with the overall fluid swelling and retention in the area.  Fluid looks fine, and off they went.

Foot looks less swollen today.  TOday was the first day she was in her kennel all day while we went to work.  Boy was her bladder glad to see us when we got home!   Took off her cone and let her hop around the yard till she was done.  She was able to be-bob around the livingroom for a bit as well.

She’s finding places to hide (not easy for a Rottie!).  Under the kitchen table, under a desk.  She never did this before.   Have her back in the kennel, however she’s “singing” in there now… i’m sure she’d like to come back out!

She’s going for a follow up with the specalist tomorrow to look over stitches, and hopefully get a Chemo start date.  Still waiting for things to heal though, which is prolonging things.

Will keep everyone updated on the next visit!